once i wrote an ode to you and nailed it to the wall at school—art school
... and you were not there
... and if you were, how would you have been able to find me? I left no name.

it looked like you, a little, when we got married, but then the resemblance quickly died and I was stuck with a husband.
so i escaped to you.
... and for 14 years you were the ghost in my life.
... and my lodestar.
then you escaped. so i guess it wasn't you.

so, i'm still looking, still leaving smiles and poems and strange dreams so you can find me.
here i am.
... still waiting, in spite of it all.